Thursday, January 03, 2008

Notes to Self

Trying to look at myself objectively for the purpose of the new year and in the hunt for red conviction.  I tell Emilie with breathless flourish that perhaps I should adapt to accepting myself for who I am, in the sense of someone who is motivated by continual interest rather than long-term goals.  Yet later on it is easy to doubt myself because everyone respects a purpose-driven life (hence the hardcover, best-selling book). And lack of purpose doesn't get you a job.
So I am closer to letting this life go than I have been.  I am reading up on dance therapy and realize that it's goals could be my mission statement if it weren't for just how uncool that would be.  "Dance that helps people" -- that's all.  It helps me. It could help you.  It could also help you understand other people that you would have no access to, verbally, or otherwise. 
Among the many things I am spending my time looking up on the internet, vocationally these currently include:
--yoga certification
--maintaining my pilates certification
--journalism: print (periodical, magazine, publishing, editorial):: arts and cultural criticism/writing/discourse (riding the wave of my studies and my interests) / medicine, health, the body (riding the wave of my current job that I am at this moment running late for and my growing professional interests)
--London
--Amsterdam
--California
--greencard
--fuck greencard, London
--London International School of Performing Arts (voice, mask, drama, movement, space studies)
--Singapore
All things vocational must have a context, many things passionate have no home.
I have been watching dance and theatre performances since I've had a mind of my own.
I am tired of being sad, being sad is tiring.

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