July 5th, 2005

It's my dad's birthday today! Yay Daddy!

Tomorrow, I will attempt to review my resume - again - and conduct a job search that will not rupture my newly casted self-esteem.

It's not that I'm at the point where I even think that "I don't know what I'm doing with my life." This, currently, is my life. I am living it. I am trying to instill in myself the traits of adherence to discipline, patience (=long-range perspective), and self-organization, the lack of which have previously made me a nutcase. However, I am at the place where I cannot yet say that I do know what I am working towards. I am not yet justifiable.

[What in, you ask? Hell, I don't even know which country. Communications? Development? Oh yeah, the arts, I mean, yes, that was the intention. Shit. Tonight's agenda was simply recuperating my blistered feet!]

My friend Joko has a blog that uses many fewer undigestible multisyllabic words, such as is my unavoidable domain. Joko had a traumatic weekend. Sorry, Jo. Like I said -- Morenos at $0.85 a can, or more Summer Ale in Tribeca, whatever it takes, K?

Macy's fireworks for 4th of July were ill-choreographed to my mind's eye. Still, I got a coupla nice pictures.

I'm only on the first chapter of Bobos in Paradise, but already I think it should be required reading for internationals entering the American tertiary education circuit. If I'd done it, I may have realized much sooner, and with greater clarity, how to negotiate my role and the game at hand within a more meritocratic system than that of my elite private international school background previously. I might not have ranted at the elitism of my college if I'd realized what revolutionary changes had occurred in the last half century. It can be said that I've taken much for granted in my exposure to the world. I might also have benefited from simply reading American history, if I hadn't thought that to do so would have been to subscribe to the imperialism/hegemony of American culture. One wonders, then, why I came in the first place. And isn't this my issue now, as always, that I am procrastinating, rather, stalling from starting a mature life in the States because I somehow didn't want to in the first place? What's wrong with me?